About Me

The world refers to me as jane tambreé, a surname I dreamt. My aka’s are known to only a few chosen people.

Facts - I was born in New York in what appeared above the norm from an external perspective. There were no overt signs of trouble, an intact family that was welcoming of two second marriages, and half siblings considered whole. Most of the parental focus was directed toward the sibling most in need, leaving me both neglected and unprotected. Thus it all began. Although I went on to do the expected: college and graduate school, I was experiencing turmoil, mostly manifesting in my thoughts and appearance. There was a known sense within my family that my “way” wasn’t to be easily incorporated into “their” way. I fell into the profession of Social Work–– making the unintentionally intentional choice to work with those that mirrored my personal life, both directly and indirectly. I was unconsciously aware that this profession would both serve and eventually constrain me. 

Truth - I have been diagnosed as having Dissociative Identity Disorder. I resonate more with multiple personalities (Disorder). Memories have revealed that my first fracturing occurred when I was a toddler. I was diagnosed in my twenties after having “lost” my car in a city I was quite familiar with (perhaps the first named switching experience). Alters have been revealing themselves for years and still. I have an extensive system, some of whom have formed clusters who usually remain as understudies. The prominent personalities, the primary cast, are about eight on a typical day. Early in the diagnosis there were some adversities I contended with. My system took form in introductions through memories/ flashbacks/ perspectives, appearances and choices. I learned what the alters knew, lived through, and kept away from my mind until ready to receive. My system was created for me and thus all alters, including the ones who challenge us, are for our highest good. I am blessed with mostly cooperation and I always have gratitude and love.

The alters in my system were individually impacted by my work environments and the clients I had the honor to work with. From the inception, I made a deliberate effort to actively call upon the capable and interested parts who I sought to accompany me to work. They had enhanced skills and understanding, that when combined with me, the host, allowed us to navigate very difficult settings with clients that often told horrific stories of their own trauma. Other alters were purposely asked to remain in safe spaces so as not to be exposed to inadvisable circumstances. Over time, the request for alters to arrive at the forefront became less arduous and mostly automatic, unless there was a challenge from one, which then required an internal negotiation. Most recently, the changing perspectives of some alters have called into question my previous choices, as we have grown politically, psychologically, and spiritually. We contend with the idea that this choice of professions and the venues in which I worked may have caused stagnancy or restrictions in our own healing. My efforts to support and advocate for my clients in these environments that were created and are sustained to disempower people, left me feeling limited to "do my part" as I witnessed continued domination, disempowerment, and neglect. As I continue to learn more about my own experience of degradation and loss of control, I gain understanding and meaning about the environments I once worked for/in. I wonder what would have become of my system had I chosen a field that encourages self expression and risk taking.

“CV” - My first professional experience - treating sexually abused children and their “non offending parent”.  Second - “classifying” and treating maximum security male prisoners, choosing to work with men convicted of rape. Third - community based mental health team working with “treatment resistant mentally ill patients”. Fourth -maximum security forensic hospital for the “criminally insane”. Fifth - leading a “jail diversion” program for the judiciary. And to relax, after retirement, the sixth professional experience- treating victims of crime, and parents of murdered children. Finally and currently, I have a small private therapy practice and some side gigs.

Awards of Recognition - NAMI and YANA.

Publications - Maryland Bards Poetry Review, Handbook of Correctional Mental Health ( chapter input), Creative Healing: An Anthology of Poems, Prose and Art (excerpt from “ 3”)